White House Dossier has gotten its greedy hands on President Obama’s list of new proposals for reviving the economy, which he will recite this evening in an address to Congress.
1. A proposal for $1.5 billion in new spending to build trestles for the Bridge to Nowhere.
2. Stimulate the housing market by requiring all new homes to include a soda machine.
3. Fight unemployment with tax credits for firms that agree to hire people who are totally incompetent.
4. Allocation of $2.5 million to hire food scientists to study on the tastiest way to prepare lobster.
5. Anyone who has ever said “If I had a dime for every time” they did something actually gets a dime for every time they did it.